DUBLIN, IRELAND THE ANNOUNCEMENT BY Gerry “The Monk” Hutch that he would contest the coming Irish General Election in Dublin, has caused experts to remark that his participation would probably elevate the contest from its usual low levels. “He’s a self-made man, with a high profile and the financial resources to run a hard campaign,”…

WASHINGTON DC COMMENTATORS AND EXPERTS who predicted a Kamala Harris victory have been so desperate to pass blame and backtrack on their original pronouncements, that it has actually slowed Earth’s daily orbit, according to scientists. “It’s remarkable. We had to take several measurement, using the most sophisticated equipment, to confirm it: the daily Earth orbit…

EL PASO, TEXAS AMERICA’S WOKE LEFT is being reassured by its own advocates, that Donald Trump will not be able to go full fascist for at least 18 months after his inauguration, giving them plenty of time to head to Canada or Cuba. Manson Footlight, a Marxist revolutionary who deals drugs, sells human excrement and…

TREBLINKA A NEW BRIEFING paper from an online political consultancy, is advising US Democrats to avoid infighting over their defeat by Donald Trump, by blaming the Jews. “They have been the scapegoat of choice down the centuries; they’re easily identifiable; and there’s Gaza,” says a draft sample obtained by the Kookaburra Bugle from The Blame…

WASHINGTON, DC NO ONE WHO cannot recite Margaret Atwood’s novel, The Handmaid’s Tale, will be allowed to work in the new Trump administration. “Well, it’s the blueprint for all we believe, isn’t it,” said a long-time GOP loyalist, who has purchased thousands of copies of the book for use during the Trump presidency. “All our…

DICTATORSHIP WILL BE INCREMENTAL PEOPLE’S FEELINGS WILL BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT WHEN THEY ARE ARRESTED – THEY MAY CHOOSE THE CONCENTRATION CAMP THEY ARE SENT TO TOP HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR WILL MANAGE THE TRUMP PROPAGANDA MOVIE – THE TRIUMPH OF THE TRUMP POLITICAL OPPONENTS WITHIN THE GOP WILL NOT BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT WITHOUT TRIAL…

A PRIVATE AIRPORT IN OREGON THE THREAT BY so many American celebrities, that they would leave their country after the election of Donald Trump, may have unforeseen benefits for the United States, if they have the courage of their convictions. “That’s the crucial word, ‘courage’,” says entertainment reporter Humphrey McQueen of online celebrity magazine Of…

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA A LEADING INTERNATIONAL psychologist is predicting that the reputation of some commentators and pollsters will have been fatally wounded by their failure to call the US Presidential Election. Professor Peter Jordan-Jung of the Sense Institute in Istanbul, who predicted that Donald Trump would win, claims that those who told the world Kamala Harris…

BY D. RUG KARTEYL, FROM ALCATRAZ IT’S A SMALL bag, not much bigger than a large tobacco pouch, but they say it’s all you need to survive four years of coming Trump tyranny. Johnny (not his real name) was handing them out as he dealt meth and heroin to sundry addicts living on the streets…

MIAMI A TOP SECRET list, said to be Trump policy proposals, has been found scribbled out on a tampon and wrapped around a trans sex toy, in a school toilet in California. The toy which is believed to be capable of use in any combination of gender encounters, was covered by a tampon specifically provided…