Category: Uncategorized
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WORLD ON THE BRINK OF WW3 … YET AGAIN
FROM OUR WW3 EDITOR, ADOLF PRINCIP THAT ELUSIVE CREATURE, World War 3, has raised its head yet again, illuminated by the detonations of hundreds of rockets fired by Iran against Israel. As Ukraine has yet to expand beyond its Eastern European battle space, and China just refuses to invade Taiwan, fans of World War 3…
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IRISH VOTERS ADMIT TO BEING BOUGHT BY LATEST BUDGET AND SAY THEY WILL ALWAYS VOTE FOR THE POLITICIANS THAT GIVE AWAY THE MOST MONEY NO MATTER HOW USELESS THEY ARE AT RUNNING THE COUNTRY
DUBLIN AFTER THE MOST vulgar attempt to buy votes in the coming general election, Irish voters have told their Government politicians that splashing the cash to get re-elected is the policy that will see them back in office. The latest post-budget survey suggests that all Irish people want is money. And whoever provides it will…
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CASH-STRAPPED NEWS OUTLETS UNABLE TO AFFORD FOOTAGE OF NEW ISRAELI INVASION OF LEBANON WILL JUST RERUN PREVIOUS ISRAELI LEBANON INVASION REPORTS AS IT WILL BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR VIEWERS TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE
SOUTH LEBANON HERE WE GO AGAIN. Israel has launched another invasion of Lebanon. The Mark 4 version, following the 1978, 1982 and 2006 invasions, all of which ended with no real gains, lots of deaths, an even more wasted Lebanon and a very strong enemy still sitting on Israel’s northern border. Could you tell the…
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CALL FOR FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST TO BE BANNED AS BACON AND SAUSAGES OFFENSIVE TO BRITISH MUSLIMS
BELGRADE, THURSDAY A BRITISH GOVERNMENT advisory panel has called for the banning of the traditional Full English Breakfast because it feels bacon and sausages offend the sensibilities of the 3.8 million Muslims living in the United Kingdom. The Council Against Giving Offence, which examines areas of British life where what it calls “muscular traditions” prevail,…
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CHINESE USING TEST TUBE HUMPBACK WHALES TO SPY ON AUSTRALIA – LEAK
BY OUR OCEANIC CORRESPONDENT JACK KOOSTO HUMPBACK WHALES GROWN in a lab in Wuhan are being used to gather intelligence on Australia, according to an ultra secret report by the continent’s spy services. “What better creature to use to spy on this country?” insists Carre Ashenden, an ex-KGB colonel now based in Alice Springs, whose…
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IRISH OFFER SUPER EXPENSIVE SECURITY HUTS TO TIP BALANCE IN UKRAINE
OUR BUDGET BLOWOUT CORRESPONDENT CHARLIE PONZI WITH UKRAINE ON the back foot in its war with Russia, the Irish Government has been asked to build thousands of hyper-expensive security huts for the defence of the beleaguered Black Sea country, after the spending of over a million euros on a small security hut at Government headquarters…
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NEW TOUR COMPANY WILL ALLOW HAMAS FANS TO SPEND TIME LIVING WITH THE GROUP
GAZA FANS OF PALESTINIAN GROUP Hamas will soon be able to spend time embedded with the group’s military wing, taking on the Israeli Defence Force, following the emergence of a new tour operator offering weekends away in Gaza for a modest fee. Walk The Walk, an online start-up with plans to go public on the…
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“BONKERS” BORIS PLANS FOR DUTCH INVASION TO GRAB COVID VACCINES HAS WORLD IN SUCH STITCHES THAT PLANET’S INDUSTRY ACTUALLY TANKED
LONDON BORIS JOHNSON’S REVELATION that he contemplated invading the Netherlands to seize millions of Covid vaccines, has caused such a wave of hysterical laughter to spread across the world that it actually led to a dip in industrial productivity right around our planet. The former British leader’s new biography, which is being serialized and hyped…
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SOLVE BRITISH PRISON CRISIS BY OFFERING FULL AMNESTY TO THUGS WHO VOLUNTEER TO FIGHT PUTIN IN UKRAINE – PLAN
LONDON DESK THE UK GOVERNMENT is said to be seriously considering a proposal to offer full amnesty to all extremely violent criminals who volunteer to fight on the front line in Ukraine, according to a leaked plan now circulating in London’s underworld. The scheme is designed to compliment the early release program aimed at clearing…
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AMERICAN CAT OWNERS TERRIFIED OF THEIR PETS BEING EATEN BY MIGRANTS ARE URGED TO SEND THEM TO KABUL WHERE THEIR PETS WILL HAVE MORE RIGHTS THAN WOMEN UNDER TALIBAN RULE
SPRINGFIELD, ILLINOIS AFGHANISTAN’S TALIBAN RULERS, long reviled in the West, may soon provide American cats with a refuge from the threat of being eaten which they face at home. According to movie star Meryl Streep, cats have more rights in the Asian state than women. Though it is not clear if all cats have these…
THE KOOKABURRA BUGLE 