DUBAI STORIES OF PEPPERONI pizza remains being found at drone attack sites up and down the Arabian Penninsula, indicate that Iran has been disguising many of its drone attacks as pizza deliveries. “It’s fiendish,” says Doughy Base, a military analyst based in Kuwait. “The Iranians appear to have hacked into pizza order websites everywhere in…

ANONYMOUS THE SEARCH FOR a new Supreme Leader of Iran has met with a curious lack of candidates, according to Middle East Intelligence Sources. “The Assembly of Experts, which elects the SLI, is finding it hard to even get together given the current state of the country,” explains Omar, an Iranian exile based in Berlin.…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY IT WAS SAID of Ali Hosseini Khamenei, Iran’s recently deceased Supreme Ruler, that he ruled with an iron fist; and now America has decided that, following on his assassination, the land of the free and home of the brave should have that iron fist. “A trophy for President Trump maybe, or an exhibit…

TEL AVIV, ISRAEL ISRAEL CLAIMS THAT scores of Iranian drones headed for Tel Aviv and other targets, have had their programs hijacked, causing them to land at a secret base in the Negev Desert. “Essentially, we have convinced these drones to defect,” says a colonel in the IDF who does not wish to be named.…

TEHRAN SOME OF THE videos showing Iranians celebrating the destruction of their leaders are likely fakes, manufactured by the CIA and Mossad, among others, according to a leading AI content creator. F’AI-ACHE, a company that manufactures destructive documentaries using artificial intelligence and quantum computing, says footage of Iranians in open revolt is simple to create,…

TEL AVIV AS IRAN’S SUPREME Leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, is killed in a targeted strike, that only leaves Iran’s population of perhaps 93 million, its tens of thousands of mullahs, its almost one million man military, and, of course, the 200,000 Revolutionary Guards that are the backbone of the regime, remaining for the Israelis and Americans…

HOLLYWOOD AS OPERATION EPIC Fury is launched against Iran, American commanders have warned President Donald Trump that their country is running short of cool sounding labels for its various military adventures. “This has been a growing problem since Desert Storm, because every time we bomb somewhere, or launch a commando raid, the White House has…

LONDON BRITISH POLICE ARE being tight lipped about claims that they have seized thousands of tins of petroleum jelly lubricant to the former prince, Andrew Mountbatten Windsor. “Vaseline is a product which is at the bottom of our investigations into large-scale postal activity directed at the ex-prince,” said a detective. “We’ve seized the stuff became…

PARIS A REVOLUTIONARY HYPERSONIC cheese board could be available to the French military following a brawl in which the platter was used to great effect. “When our military saw farmers use cheese boards in a fight at an agricultural show, they immediately instructed scientists to inquire into the possibilities of their general use in our…

MANCHESTER, UK IN A REMARKABLE development, the Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor story has taken a strange turn with the suggestion that the ex-Prince may well be the victim of a fiendish mind-control plot to destroy the British monarchy. “It’s conceivable he was captured by the Argentinians in the Falklands, or by the KGB during his wild youthful…