Category: Uncategorized
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MOVIE STAR HUGH GRANT’S RECENT ADMISSION OF POLITICAL AMBITIONS SPARK REPORTS THAT HE WAS OFFERED FINE GAEL LEADERSHIP BEFORE HARRIS
TIK TOK SIMON HARRIS MAY well be the Tik Tok Taoiseach in waiting but news that actor Hugh Grant has ambitions to enter politics has started a flurry of rumours that the star of Paddington 2, Notting Hill and Love Actually – where he played a young Prime Minister – was approached by Fine Gael’s…
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NEW IRISH LEADER HARRIS’S FIRST TASK WILL BE TO CONVINCE VOTERS THAT JUNE PATENT POLL IS ABOUT AN OBSCURE EUROPEAN COURT AND NOT WHETHER HIS REGIME’S POLICIES ARE PATENT NONSENSE
FROM OUR PATENT COURT REPORTER CLAIMS THAT new Irish supremo SIMON Harris has been sold a (*King’s?) hospital pass by his predecessor Leo Varadkar, have been brought into sharp focus by a recent internal Fine Gael poll suggesting that many Irish voters believe the June Constitutional Referendum to allow the country join the Unified Patent…
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AS TITANIC METAPHORS ABOUND AFTER VARADKAR QUITS, SIMON HARRIS FANS FEAR THAT DESPITE HIS OBVIOUS GENIUS THE YOUNG TURK IS NOT SO MUCH ACCEPTING THE HELM OF THE DOOMED LINER AS OFFERING HIMSELF TO BE MAROONED ON THE ICEBERG
BELGRADE, THURSDAY WITH FINE GAEL luminaries taking to the lifeboats in record numbers, the politician of the moment, Simon Harris, soon to be crowned Taoiseach unopposed, has some of his own supporters wondering whether the lack of competition might be telling them something more than that their man is a magnificent political beast, supercharged for…
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SUPPORTER OF NEW ST GEORGE’S CROSS DESIGN ON ENGLAND SOCCER SHIRTS SAYS OLD RED CROSS WAS AN IMPERIAL FASCIST EMBLEM CARRIED BY THUGS TO INTIMIDATE RIVALS
LONDON “THAT RED CROSS, it became symbol of empire, an emblem carried by Fascist thugs to intimidate, the equivalent of the swastika, the stars and bars, or the burning crucifix, and we’re well rid of it. Bloody hell, St George wasn’t even English, he didn’t even come from Europe, no he was probably a Greek…
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RUMOR THAT FINE GAEL LEADERSHIP FOR SALE ON EBAY SPREADS AS ONLY ONE UNINSPIRING YOUNG MINISTER APPEARS TO WANT THE JOB
DUBLIN THE AWKWARD SILENCE AMONG Fine Gael luminaries following the sudden resignation of their leader, Leo Varadkar, has been followed by a furious rumor that the top job in the party – which carries the premiership of Ireland with it, as a bonus – has had to be put up for sale on Ebay as…
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NORTHERN IRELAND UNIONIST LOONIES CLAIM CREDIT FOR LEO VARADKAR”S FALL AS THEY INSIST “WE PRAYED THE GAY AWAY”
BELFAST A LUNATIC SPLINTER group famed for a gay conversion therapy that involves being nailed to a cliff and pounded by Atlantic waves, claims that it is responsible for the demise of Irish Taoiseach Leo Varadkar. The Temple of God’s Terrible Wrath, a small Protestant denomination based in Portadown, Co. Armagh, claims that its prayers…
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IRISH RODENT ADVOCATES COMPLAIN THAT SINKING SHIP METAPHORS AFTER LEO VARADKAR SAYS HE’S QUITTING ARE INSULTING TO RAT COMMUNITY AND INACCURATE
DUBLIN “I THINK IT’S the first case of anything, rat or otherwise, leaving a ship after it has already sunk.” W.I.T Willows is the chairman of Rodents Rock, a not-for-profit organisation devoted to bettering the reputation of the *vicious incisor-rich mammals who stalk the dark caverns of our underground and the endless recesses of our…
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CHINESE FOREIGN MINISTER SAYS HE WAS SURE PAUL KEATING WAS STILL IN CHARGE IN CANBERRA AND ASKS WHO ANTHONY ALBANESE AND PENNY WONG ARE?
SYDNEY A SPOKESMAN FOR Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi insist his boss meant no disrespect to the Australian Government when he indicated he would be meeting former Prime Minister Paul Keating on his visit to Australia. “He honestly has no idea who Anthony Albanese and Penny Wong are,” explained the Beijing bureaucrat. “He’s frankly amazed…
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SHOCK AS VLADIMIR PUTIN LOSES RUSSIAN ELECTION TO ONE-ARMED BLACK LESBIAN TRANS LIBERAL – NAH, JUST KIDDING!
MOSCOW THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE have swung in behind strongman leader Vladimir Putin once again. Offered a choice between action man Vlad and a bunch of useless losers, including a Communist for God’s sake, almost 9 in ten voters put their mark beside Putin’s name. “President now, President forever,” exclaimed Yuri from Siberia. “When he dies…
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NAZIS AND ISLAMIC ZEALOTS IN FURY AS THEIR ICONS ARE COMPARED TO MARGARET THATCHER
BELGRADE, THURSDAY NAZIS AND ISLAMIC fundamentalists are up in arms. Nothing new in that you may think. Until you find out why. It’s not Gaza, it’s not Putin. It’s not even Ken Barlow’s latest Coronation Street romance. No, this time it’s the listing by London’s Victoria and Albert Museum of Adolf Hitler and Osama Bin…
THE KOOKABURRA BUGLE 