JERUSALEM IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN. Caught up in a news cycle that cannot wait any more for news to actually happen, conflict politics is now dominated by media speculation on what is going to happen. “We’re now living in a news cycle dominated by the future,” says Roy Beggar, former tabloid editor and press…

FROM OUR MAN IN HAVANA IT’S BEEN A LONG time since Norway and Denmark were in the slave trade; even longer for Rome. But the growing demands from peoples affected by slavery for those responsible to make amends, has caused these erstwhile slave giants to feel nervous and more than a little apprehensive. “The Norwegians…

FROM OUR LONDON OFFICE BRITISH LABOUR LEADER Sir Keir Starmer’s speaking tone is so leaden that mothers are admitting to using his speeches to get their babies to sleep. “I’ve been taping him for years now, and if my little fellow won’t sleep at night, I just turn on old Keir and the whole family’s…

EL PASO, TEXAS THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION insists that its decision to continue the Mexican border wall started by Donald Trump does not mean he was right and they were wrong. “It’s an entirely different construct,” said a White House spokesman. “His was a tyrannical fascist-like barrier to peace and empathy, ours is an encouragement to…

FROM NUMEROUS PLACES WHERE REASON REIGNS POLITICIANS AND COMMENTATORS around the world have welcomed the end of the Voice Referendum in Australia. “At last, the adults back in charge,” said the London Morning Herald in an op ed piece that regretted the divisive nature of the campaign. The American Newspaper, which seemed to think that…

FROM OUR POLITICAL STAFF IN CANBERRA SUPPORTERS OF THE defeated Voice to Parliament are already proposing a fresh referendum, the Whinge, which will entitle all Australians who self-identify as whinging children to make submissions to Parliament on any subject that makes them unhappy. “For too long this section of our population, which has been growing…

JERUSALEM THE VIOLENCE HAS only just started and Hollywood is awash with rumors of a movie deal telling the story of the Israel-Hamas War. “Names of big stars are being thrown around like basketballs,” says David Larry, a top agent to the stars. “Pacino, De Niro, Stallone, all the action heroes are in the frame;…

PARIS FRENCH BED BUGS have lodged an official complaint with the Hotel de Ville in Paris, protesting at the huge infestation of people using beds they inhabit in the French capital. “And it’s not just in Paris, it’s all over France.” said a spokesbug. “Bed bugs cannot get a night’s sleep without some overweight, garlic-ridden…

KHAN YUNIS ISRAEL HAS ASKED Hamas to return all the money it gave the organization when it used to support it as a counter-weight to Yasser Arafat’s Fatah Movement in the Palestinian Territories during the 1980s. The original idea was that Hamas, a religious movement, would take the edge off what was then the leading…

BEIRUT IT’S ABOUT TO get a lot more crowded in the Holy Land as Canaanites across the globe announce their wish to return to their ancient homeland. “The Canaanites were there before the Jews – awkward!,” says Dr Dagon Mot Baal of the Canaanite Institute in Montreal Canada. “According to the Bible, their city, Jericho,…