DUBLIN “I THINK IT’S the first case of anything, rat or otherwise, leaving a ship after it has already sunk.” W.I.T Willows is the chairman of Rodents Rock, a not-for-profit organisation devoted to bettering the reputation of the *vicious incisor-rich mammals who stalk the dark caverns of our underground and the endless recesses of our…

SYDNEY A SPOKESMAN FOR Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi insist his boss meant no disrespect to the Australian Government when he indicated he would be meeting former Prime Minister Paul Keating on his visit to Australia. “He honestly has no idea who Anthony Albanese and Penny Wong are,” explained the Beijing bureaucrat. “He’s frankly amazed…

MOSCOW THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE have swung in behind strongman leader Vladimir Putin once again. Offered a choice between action man Vlad and a bunch of useless losers, including a Communist for God’s sake, almost 9 in ten voters put their mark beside Putin’s name. “President now, President forever,” exclaimed Yuri from Siberia. “When he dies…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY NAZIS AND ISLAMIC fundamentalists are up in arms. Nothing new in that you may think. Until you find out why. It’s not Gaza, it’s not Putin. It’s not even Ken Barlow’s latest Coronation Street romance. No, this time it’s the listing by London’s Victoria and Albert Museum of Adolf Hitler and Osama Bin…

MEDICAL DESK 3-D IMAGING HAS filmed a baby in the womb mouthing the word “fuck”, according to scientists. The curious medics monitoring the child’s movements, asked the parents to have a conversation so that they might examine whether their baby reacted to its parents’ voices. “The mother and father began a very bland conversation about…

BRUSSELS AS UKRAINE’S 2023 offensive failed from the get-go, Vladimir Putin is said to have measured Russian success by Western boasts: the more the media in New York and London hailed Ukrainian claims, the better he knew his side was doing. They were his greatest allies. Well, now all this has changed, as the Western…

FROM LONDON AND LOS ANGELES HIS GANGSTER CHIC dress and trademark wide-eyed handsome looks are only pipped by his perfectly pitched regional English accent. And now this jewel in the crown that is British television’s period crime drama masterpiece, Peaky Blinders, has a Hollywood Best Actor Oscar to place on his mantelpiece beside his Golden…

DONNYBROOK, DUBLIN IT IS ONE thing to see dead people, it is quite another to be watched by them. But that appears to be what is happening to Irish broadcaster RTE as a new survey reveals that a significant proportion of its audience on any night, are actually dead. “People die all the time, and…

NEW YORK FOR THE RECORD, IT WAS RESOLUTION 181. AUSTRALIA, Belgium, Bolivia, Brazil, Byelorussia SSR (Belarus), Canada, Costa Rica, Czechoslovakia (Czech Republic and Slovakia), Denmark, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, France, Guatemala, Haiti, Iceland, Liberia, Luxemburg, Netherlands, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Norway, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Sweden, Ukraine SSR (Ukraine minus Crimea), South Africa, USA, USSR, Uruguay,…

DUBLIN “REPLACING THE FAMILY with some woke crap like ‘durable relationships’ is an insult to all the people in this country who have taken the trouble to form a raise real families. This is a nation of families, of clans with names that go back to the beginning of time. Family means something here. It…