FROM THE IRISH SEA BORDER BETWEEN BRITAIN AND IRELAND WHISPERS FROM WESTMINSTER say that the UK Government has agreed with the European Union, and the Irish Republic, that Northern Ireland will now be officially known as Northern Ireland Protocol following the redrawing of its economic borders after Brexit. The special treatment for Northern Ireland (the…

ENTERTAINMENT DESK ALONG WITH SNOW White and Cinderella, and, of course, the Ugly Duckling, all of which now stand condemned as perpetuating patriarchy stereotypes and the physiological, psychological and sexual abuse of women and children, Old MacDonald, he of the famous farm full of noisy animals, has now been accused of misusing the various beasts…

CRIME DESK IRISH POLICE OFFICERS have indicated that the huge cocaine haul they intercepted off their country’s south coast may have been bound for Canada. Pressed as to why they believed this, the Gardai said that they were not at liberty to reveal their reasoning but suggested that reporters read the Canadian press, and perhaps…

SCIENCE DESK US SCIENTISTS WILL not confirm that the James Webb Telescope spotted a planet 65 million light years away with a huge sign saying: “LOOK OUT FOR THE ASTEROID”. “Perhaps that’s why we have had no contact from aliens,” an extraterrestrial researcher commented.

FROM KOOKABURRA BUGLE EDITOR’S OFFICE THERE HAS BEEN a minor rebellion among our reporting staff here at the Bugle. They currently refuse to write any more stories on Canada’s Parliamentary welcome for a former Ukrainian SS soldier, as the sheer stupidity and hypocrisy displayed by those who lead that country appears to be beyond parody.…

FROM OTTOWA, KANADA FOLLOWING ITS CELEBRATION OF former SS soldier Yaroslav Hunka, Canada may now find itself in the gun-sights of Russian President Vladimir Putin in his self-proclaimed de-Nazification drive. The Russian hard man has listed a desire to de-Nazify Ukraine as one of the key reasons his troops invaded last year, “The sight of…

FROM OUR CORRESPONDENT IN ALICE SPRINGS, NT DUUL WAS A small town on the border of the Northern Territory and Western Australia. One dirt road led into town; and one dirt road led out. The next settlement was five hundred kilometers away. There were thirty five people in Duul, seventeen houses, and a small general…

SCIENCE REPORTERS A NEW THEORY of climate change suggests that if the Earth warms to a certain level, then all of its moisture will evaporate and the oceans will relocate to the sky, complete with creatures that live in them. “Imagine rain falling up,” says German Nobel laureate Dr. Isaac Hossenpfepper. “The surface of the…

FROM HOLLYWOOD AND VINE IT’S A FORTY-SIX year old conundrum that just had to be solved. Why did Star Wars heroine Princess Leia refer to evil villain Grand Moff Tarkin’s personal odour as a “foul stench”? Well, self-confessed movie and comic nerd Lucius Drivel, believes he has come up with an explanation. “The wicked and…

PHILOSOPHY DESK IN HIS NEW book The Rise of the Court Jester, journalist Randolph Sirius Major argues that mass entertainment’s grip on humanity is now so strong that even elections for high office have been reduced to mere popularity contests. “It used to be that there was the serious life of work and affairs, and…