Category: Uncategorized
-
PROPOSAL FOR IRISH LEADERS TO TAKE ASYLUM SEEKERS INTO THEIR HOMES TO EASE HOUSING PRESSURE GATHERS SUPPORT
PARNELL SQUARE EAST, DUBLIN THE IRISH GOVERNMENT is considering a proposal that political leaders across the country each take an asylum seeker into their home, to help ease the pressure on housing and demonstrate that those on top are willing to shoulder the burdens weighing on those below them. “It’s not going to solve the…
-
UKRAINE DESPERATE TO FIND RUSSIAN SUPER AGENT CODENAMED “THE CHEF” AFTER TOP KIEV SPY CHIEF’S WIFE POISONED
BY OUR COOKERY REPORTER JAMIE MUNCHER THE POISONING OF the wife of top Ukraine spy chief, Kyrylo Budanov, has caused panic in the kitchens of Kyiv and other major Ukrainian cities, as the Zelenskyy government finds itself on an enforced diet. “Somewhere out there is a Russian agent we call The chef,” said a Ukrainian…
-
INDIA REASSURES BRITAIN THAT IN ANY NEW TRADE DEAL IT WILL TREAT FORMER COLONIAL POWER WITH THE SAME RESPECT AND FAIRNESS AS BRITAIN TREATED INDIA
NEW DELHI INDIAN OFFICIALS INVOLVED in negotiating a Free Trade Agreement with Brexit Britain have insisted -as a deal draws ever so slowly closer – that the old colonial masters have nothing to be apprehensive about as the Indians intend always to apply the same courtesies to Britain as Britain applied to India over three…
-
SECRET DOOMSDAY COMMITTEE SAID TO BE PREPARING PLAN TO REPLICATE ‘FUCKED UP” 1980s IRELAND TO DISCOURAGE IMMIGRANTS
FROM POLITICAL WRITERS RECENT RIOTING IN the Irish Capital Dublin has led to the establishment of a secret committee whose brief is to prepare a strategy to actively discourage immigrants from coming to the country, even if it means re-introducing policies from the 1980s that led to mass emigration and Ireland being referred to as…
-
RUMORS SPREAD OF ISRAEL V HAMAS FOOTBALL MATCH DURING GAZA TRUCE
FROM OUR SPORTS DESK STORIES ARE EMERGING from Gaza of a football game which took place between Israeli soldiers and Hamas fighters on a beach on the northern shore of the Palestinian strip. Sources say that both sides began their own soccer games during the night which developed slowly into a single game. “Suddenly, senior…
-
DRONES NOW AT SAME STAGE AS AIRCRAFT WERE EARLY IN FIRST WORLD WAR
BY OUR TECHNOLOGY STAFF “THE NEXT THING to watch for is pursuit drones, seeking out enemy drones and shooting them down. Hell, Drone Aces might even emerge.” Greg Biggles was a jet ace in Vietnam and now runs a technology company in Austin, Texas. He’s in his seventies but looks no older than fifty. He…
-
NOT TONIGHT JOSEPHINE: HOW RIDLEY SCOTT’S NAPOLEON COULD BE GREAT DIRECTOR’S WATERLOO
BY OUR FILM REVIEWER ORSON KUROSAWA SOMEWHERE DURING THE Battle of Waterloo scenes in this movie, Rupert Everett, playing the Duke of Wellington (Yes) says: “Jesus Christ”. I felt he spoke for all us when he said those words. Perhaps the screenwriter was trying to express his own feelings. Everett’s performance is one of the…
-
ANY IDIOT WHO KNOWS OUR HISTORY, KNOWS THAT THE IRISH ARE FAR TOO SUBVERSIVE TO BE A FAR RIGHT THREAT, SAYS HISTORIAN
FROM OUR LOOTING EDITOR IN DUBLIN “THE IRISH ARE by nature subversive, factional and divisive, they can’t help it!” So says historian Professor Biblius Scotti-Magnus, whose seminal work Take It Down, Traitor: How Ireland Destroys Power, was on the New York Times bestseller list for five years back in the 1980s. “Who are these far-right…
-
FORMER IRA MEN SAY THEIR BIG MISTAKE WHEN THEY KIDNAPPED DON TIDEY WAS NOT CLAIMING THEY WERE PALESTINIAN FREEDOM FIGHTERS
FROM GAZA FORMER IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY personnel say that recent official Irish responses to the kidnapping of 5-year-old Emily Hand in Israel make them regret not having claimed to be Palestinian when they kidnapped supermarket executive Don Tidey back in 1983. “If we had said we were Palestinian, then there would have been huge street…
-
IRISH POLICE SUSPECT DUBLIN STREET RIOT JUST COVER FOR MASSIVE HEIST
FROM DUBLIN, IRELAND RIOTS FOLLOWING THE stabbing of children by an immigrant from North Africa, may have been a cover for a well-planned city-centre robbery, which was conducted in full view of police and cameras, say law and order experts. “There was a terrific amount of looting,” says Dermot Gilligan-Cahill, former police inspector and now…