TEXAS “WELL, FOR PETE’S sake if he had built the damn thing in its entirety, we certainly weren’t going to knock it down. He had four years and he failed. We won World War Two in that amount of time. When he halted it, Joe Biden only wrote the epitaph for what was already a…

BY OUR IDIOCY EDITOR “IT WOULD FIT quite well into the centre of the Canadian flag,” insists Helmut (last name withheld for legal reasons) from Montreal, whose father served in the Gestapo for ten years. “The white and the red are already there. The Swastika is a natural replacement for the tired old maple leaf.…

LONDON EDITOR IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT to shore up political support following shocking recent poll numbers, the UK Conservative Party, currently in Government, is said to be planning to send British military officers to Ukraine to try and provoke a direct attack on the UK by Vladimir Putin which they can then blame for the…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY THE STANDING OVATION received by former Ukrainian SS soldier Yaroslav Hunka in the Canadian Parliament came 80 years too late for Adolf Hitler, but it’s symptomatic of a noticeable softening of attitudes to National Socialism in recent years in light of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, says a veteran historian. Professor Herod Thucydides…

FROM THE IRISH SEA BORDER BETWEEN BRITAIN AND IRELAND WHISPERS FROM WESTMINSTER say that the UK Government has agreed with the European Union, and the Irish Republic, that Northern Ireland will now be officially known as Northern Ireland Protocol following the redrawing of its economic borders after Brexit. The special treatment for Northern Ireland (the…

ENTERTAINMENT DESK ALONG WITH SNOW White and Cinderella, and, of course, the Ugly Duckling, all of which now stand condemned as perpetuating patriarchy stereotypes and the physiological, psychological and sexual abuse of women and children, Old MacDonald, he of the famous farm full of noisy animals, has now been accused of misusing the various beasts…

CRIME DESK IRISH POLICE OFFICERS have indicated that the huge cocaine haul they intercepted off their country’s south coast may have been bound for Canada. Pressed as to why they believed this, the Gardai said that they were not at liberty to reveal their reasoning but suggested that reporters read the Canadian press, and perhaps…

SCIENCE DESK US SCIENTISTS WILL not confirm that the James Webb Telescope spotted a planet 65 million light years away with a huge sign saying: “LOOK OUT FOR THE ASTEROID”. “Perhaps that’s why we have had no contact from aliens,” an extraterrestrial researcher commented.

FROM KOOKABURRA BUGLE EDITOR’S OFFICE THERE HAS BEEN a minor rebellion among our reporting staff here at the Bugle. They currently refuse to write any more stories on Canada’s Parliamentary welcome for a former Ukrainian SS soldier, as the sheer stupidity and hypocrisy displayed by those who lead that country appears to be beyond parody.…

FROM OTTOWA, KANADA FOLLOWING ITS CELEBRATION OF former SS soldier Yaroslav Hunka, Canada may now find itself in the gun-sights of Russian President Vladimir Putin in his self-proclaimed de-Nazification drive. The Russian hard man has listed a desire to de-Nazify Ukraine as one of the key reasons his troops invaded last year, “The sight of…