BY AL DIPSY, SOCIAL TRENDS REPORTER IT’S SUPPOSEDLY THE BIGGEST single issue troubling young Australians, if you discount the proposed reboot of Neighbours: Housing! And yet in a shocking survey of 10,000 Australian men between the ages of 18 and 35, 99% of the respondents insisted that they would sacrifice a reduction in housing costs…

BY ANDRE POTEMKIN, FROM MOSCOW THERE HAS been a large spike in the number of Russian men being sent to jail for long periods since PMC Wagner began recruiting from prisons to fill its ranks for the war in Ukraine. “The courts are coming down hard on anyone that looks fit enough to fight,” according…

BY FELIX TOP, DOMESTIC PET CORRESPONDENT THE WORLD may soon find out that it is short of cats. As the population ages, men continue to live shorter lives than women, and many women live single lives whether by choice or circumstance. This has all placed a heavy demand on the supply of domestic cats. “The…

BELGRADE, THUESDAY THE DISCOVERY that the Earth’s rotation is gradually slowing has focused the radical end of the weight-loss industry on the Equator more and more. It is a fact that gravity, in all its forms, has less effect at the Equator, because of its distance from Earth’s centre and its stronger centrifugal force, than…

SPORTS DESK THE VATICAN HAS A POPULATION OF 825, including one Pope . It is the smallest country in the world. It has no National Olympic Committee. It has never entered the Olympics. Until now. “It’s understood this idea came from the very top,” says Daniel Brunzinger, author of the bestselling Vatican City: A Series…

BY RITA GITA-GANGES FROM NEW DELHI DISAGREEMENTS BETWEEN the UK and India over a free-trade agreement have seen India insist that it would order all Indian restaurants in the UK to shut if London will not play with what the Indians metaphorically call a straight bat. “New Delhi has intellectual property rights over all Indian…

BY AILISH WOKE, SENSITIVITY CORRESPONDENT THE GROWING POPULATION of sinners around the world are demanding that the Bible be rewritten, as its current form is completely insensitive and utterly insulting to their feelings. The pressure group, The Sinner’s Right To Choose, which boasts a continually growing membership, compares the Bible to Mein Kampf, and says…

ENVIRONMENT REPORTER BRIAN ETHIC VEGETARIANS ARE INCREASINGLY FACED WITH A DILEMMA. There is growing evidence that plants have feelings, even communicate and may even be conscious to come degree. “This has been coming for some time now and the evidence, while not conclusive, is forcing thousands of vegetarians into periods of self-loathing and denial.” So…

MEDIA DESK IT WILL BE the tabloid newspaper to end all tabloid newspapers. It will only be available to a select few on the Dark Web, and it will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the grubby truth. THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE already has plush offices near Circular Quay and an annual budget…

BY DES STEROID, SOCIAL EDITOR AN AUSTRALIAN rugby league player, who has begged not to be identified, has stunned the professional sporting world by treating a young woman with respect. The shocking incident took place at a Sydney nightclub where onlookers were paralyzed when they saw the huge 120 kilogram hulk, dressed in a suit…