FROM NOOKY FORAGER IN MAGALUF IN AN EFFORT to raise the quality of the British tourists that come to the European Continent for summer holidays every year, the European Union is considering having Brit travelers to their lands pass a culture test before being granted access under a new visa scheme. “We are sick and…

FROM OUR FREEDOM EDITOR “WHEN YOU BOIL it all down, it’s just another societal taboo. ‘Thou shalt not kill’. What does it even mean? Not kill what? We’re always killing things. That prohibition is just some out of date Judeo-Christian platitude, like God. And who believes in Him now? Think of all the resources that…

FROM QUEENSLAND AUSTRALIAN NEO-NAZIS, long considered the embarrassing relative of Commonwealth politics, have said that, despite reservations and their natural hatred of all things non-white and left-wing, they would be willing to support the proposed Voice to Parliament if – and only if – they were granted the very same privilege. “If the black fellas…

FROM SOMEWHERE IN AFRICA SICK OF RULE by the same family for 55 years, the Gabonese Army has decided that enough is enough and dethroned newly elected President Ali Bongo. “No more Bongo land,” said a coup spokesman. As another former French colony throws out its ruler, Paris is worried that its old territories might…

ROME, ITALY THE SIGHT OF Kanye West’s new partner, Bianca Censori, wearing a skin-tone body suit has added billions to the Italian summer tourist take, according to new figures. And now the authorities in Rome fear the architect will change into normal clobber and end the much-need cash boost for the struggling Mediterranean country. “It’s…

FROM CANADA “IT APPEARS that Canada has achieved what we failed to. Utter insanity backed up by reason.” Brother Number 5069, who was responsible for three re-education camps in Cambodia during the 1970s, and now runs a chain of hamburger restaurants in Chicago, says that if he’d known this was how Canada was run, he’d…

FROM OUR CORRESPONDENT IN THE TRENCHES “WELL, IF HE’S here he comes ready for action; no need for training or practice.” The Ukrainian Brigade commander who spoke these words could hardly conceal his excitement. The battle for the village of Robotyne has been an epic struggle over the past three months. The Ukrainians have thrown…

WASHINGTON, DC IMAGINE EVERY BABY in the United States of America being seeded with controlling thoughts before they are born. “It’s done in the womb,” claims a whistle-blower who says he was involved in the project from 1962 until he retired to the Arizona desert. “Under the cover of a scan. Mothers don’t even know…

FROM BELFAST SENIOR NEW IRA leaders were shocked to find how many of their own volunteers’ personal details were contained within the recent leak of officers’ personal details from the Police Service of Northern Ireland. “It looks like more New IRA personnel are employed by the PSNI than are available to continue any war in…

FROM STRATFORD-UPON-AVON “HE’S FRAMED, there’s no doubt about it. To expose his inner treason, the witches hex him into believing he killed Duncan, who remember, is never actually seen dead in the play. Nor is Lady Macbeth either. Smacks of a Mission:Impossible episode, I’d say. Don’t you see? Shakespeare, always a secret Catholic, is trying…