FOREIGN DESK

“IF BAKHMUT is going to fall to the Russians, then all the Ukrainians need to do is rename the city and then transfer the name Bakhmut somewhere else,” commented a US State Department official in Kyiv yesterday. “Result: Bakhmut has not fallen. And if the next town looks like falling, they do it again. Bakhmut never falls. It’s genius.”

The official, who is an expert in psychological warfare, says the US has used this tactic a number of times when things have not gone its way in recent decades. “Yeah, you just relabel the thing that isn’t producing, and start again.

“You create a whole new narrative, shift everything, and ignore what went before.

“We did it when we left Vietnam, we did it in Iraq, we did it in Afghanistan.

“The public is dumb as shit. The media worse than dumb as shit. As long as you provide a half-decent explanation, they all go along with it. Remember, Joe Six-Pack, he always wants things to be okay. That’s what he wants to hear. So, we’re always winning, until we lose. Then we just tell ’em we fought the good fight, handed over to the locals and withdrew with our pride intact. Never fails. Anyone who questions it is unpatriotic. And who likes a traitor?

“So the Ukrainians have just gotta keep Bakhmut alive and kicking, and free, and they’ll never be defeated. And even if they are ever defeated, they can move Bakhmut to Poland or somewhere like that, and hey presto, the fight goes on. Shit hot, no?”