SINGAPORE

A TOP SECRET report from the Australian Intelligence Services suggests that the country’s Prime Minister may have guzzled more jet fuel than he managed to secure from the Asian countries he was trying to obtain supplies from, on his recent tour.

“The PM flying all over the place, begging, scrounging, pleading, is burning up so much jet fuel that the Royal Australian Air Force may not have enough to fly training, let alone combat, missions. And it’s burning up our reserves so much that we fear he’ll have to do another round of crawling just to replace all the fuel he’s used up.”