BELGRADE, THURSDAY

A GERMAN MARRIAGE came to sudden ending after three minutes when the groom dropped dead of suffocation following the customary kiss between the newly weds.

Hans, not his real name, and Inge, not her real name either, had just been pronounced man and wife by a Lutheran minister, when they began the mandatory first married kiss. Smiles soon turned to horror, however, when the groom collapsed from his new bride’s embrace and tumbled into the aisle of the church. He was pronounced dead by a doctor attending the ceremony.

“It appears Inge’s rather large upper lip blocked his nostrils, while the rest of her mouth smothered his,” explained a guest. “He ran out of oxygen and died in her arms.”

The bride his being comforted by family and friends. The groom’s funeral will take place in the same church as his ill-fated wedding. Police say no charges will be forthcoming as the kiss was consensual.

German authorities are warning couples to beware of the dangers of wedding kisses and calls have gone out for such knowledge to be a requirement for valid marriages in the Federal Republic.