CANBERRA

AUSTRALIA’S INTERNAL SPY agency, ASIO, is officially denying that a Koala from Queensland has been arrested and accused of being a Chinese agent.

The Koala, who has not been named, is said to have been discovered near a military facility close to the Great Barrier Reef, carrying sophisticated signals equipment, an iPad and a copy of the Sydney Morning Herald.

“It was the newspaper that caused suspicion,” said an intelligence source who asked not to be named. “A Queensland koala carrying the Sydney Morning Herald, that didn’t seem right. Look, I’ve already said too much.”

The animal is said to have received legal advice, although his lawyer has asked for anonymity. “Again, it’s not the accusation but the Sydney Morning Herald that has the little fella’s lawyer spooked,” said the intelligence whistle blower. “She doesn’t want to be associated with it. Too damn woke.”