FROM HOLLYWOOD THE BUZZ AROUND Hollywood suggests that First Lady Melania Trump’s documentary, imaginatively titled Melania, is in the running for at least one Oscar, in the special effects category. “Yeah, the scuttlebutt is that she’s a shoe-in for something along that line,” says Walter Xtre, whose talent agency specializes in effects. “Did you see…

BY SUNDRI CHYMP, FROM SOMEWHERE IN AFRICA A NEW PAPER on ape vocabulary says that some primates in central Africa appear to be using the word Trump as an insult between them. “It’s extraordinary, and we had to check it multiple times,” explained Dr Roddy Simian of the Doolittle Foundation, who authored the paper. “At…

WIRE SERVICES RECENT DENSE SNOWFALLS which have caused chaos in New York City have been labelled a clear case of white privilege by defenders of newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani. “Snow is clearly the whitest of white privilege. Associated with ski resorts and Santa Claus and all that kind of white supremacy,” said a freshly…

FROM GREKO LUNDYDERRY IN A REMARKABLY frank declaration, once ultra-unionist Democratic Unionist politician Gregory Campbell appears to have swerved from the party line when he told Irish President Catherine O’Connell, on a visit to Derry, that, “you’re in our country”. Stunned, it seems, at being reminded she was indeed in Ireland, President O’Connell retorted with…

FROM W.A. SADGYT, BY EMAIL FROM LONDON AND NEW YORK TENS OF THOUSANDS of men are claiming links to dead pedophile and friend of the rich and famous Jeffrey’s Epstein’s Department of Justice files, just so their friends and neighbors will think they are wealthy and privileged. What used to be a feature of warfare…

PARIS THE DEMAND FOR the same type of white underwear worn by controversial British politician Lord Mandelson, in a photograph released with the Epstein files, has led to supercharged sales of the garments around the globe. “O yes, what we call the ‘Mandelson Hang’, has driven fans – male and female and whatever else –…

MANHATTAN IT’S SAID TO be called the All-Gotham Extraordinary Commission, it will police the Big Apple in secret, and its job will be to seek out what are being labelled “counter-revolutionaries” who threaten Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s collective, formerly known as New York City. “Thousands have already indicated that they are willing to serve by answering…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY THE EXTRAORDINARY PHENOMENON, of people taking sides in conflicts thousands of kilometers from their own lands, is a direct result of the internet age, according to a leading researcher. “People who hardly raise an eyebrow at things that occur outside their own front doors, are increasingly totally committed to causes about which they…

MINNESOTA LIBERALS ACROSS THE United States have been posting their fury on the internet, at the news that an Ice storm gripping the country has killed 21 people. “The winter conditions which have caused such havoc here, appear to have been mistaken for a mass shooting by Immigration And Customs Enforcement,” said a Federal spokesman.…

WASHINGTON, DC TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, which sees its victims rise to stratospheric levels of negative hyperbole when talking about Donald Trump, is at such levels after his speech to the World Economic Forum at Davos, that it has been declared a pandemic. “At first we thought we had it contained in seriously Democratic and woke…