FROM OUR NATURE WRITER, DESTINY WINDOW A LEADING HINDU scholar says that recently deceased French sex kitten, Brigitte Bardot, was born to champion animals. “It is quite clear that this woman, dubbed a sex kitten in her younger years, was always going to pursue a life as a champion of the animal kingdom,” insists Rajiv…

BONDI A LEADING SPIN Doctor firm has advised the Albanese Government in Australia to hold a memorial service for a lost tank to deflect anger over the Bondi massacre. Australia has donated military vehicles to Ukraine, including 49 tanks, and one of these, an American-made Abrams, appears to have been destroyed by Russia during operations…

OPINION THE SILENT MASSACRE of Christian communities across Muslim Northern Africa and the Middle East has met its first determined opposition in Donald Trump’s strike on ISIS targets in Nigeria. This pogrom of Christians has been going on for decades, mostly unreported, completely unchallenged by Western countries. European leaders and American Presidents have until now…

CORRUPTION DESK RUSSIAN CLAIMS, THAT a 90 billion Euro loan from the European Union to Ukraine, to keep its war effort going, has already been stolen by Ukrainian officials, has been strongly denied by Brussels. “We’re aware of Ukrainian corruption and are keeping a keen eye on this new money, and we have confirmed that…

JERUSALEM AN ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALIST think tank has called for the Australian Government to tighten controls on Jewish festivals, to prevent more shootings like that at Bondi Beach. “These Jewish celebrations are clearly provoking emotions among fundamentalist Muslims, and should be severely restricted,” explained Abu Wrech of Treblinka International, a Hamas-linked Islamic Martyrdom Institute . “If…

MOSCOW HIS NAME IS Boris. And he was never Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. No, he was much more powerful. He was a KGB officer, tasked with infiltrating NATO countries using illegal Soviet agents during the Cold War. “My job was to facilitate our illegals. Their job was to obtain secrets and compromise NATO…

SYDNEY ROUND UP THE usual firearms, the Australian Prime Minister has ordered his security forces, following the slaughter of fifteen Jews at Bondi Beach, outlining a buyback scheme to counter the scourge of extremist guns. “Clearly it’s an extremist firearms issue,” said a Government supporter, “and Anthony Albanese is grabbing this scourge by the trigger.…

WASHINGTON, DC SANTA CLAUS HAS applied to the United States for his annual temporary work visa amid rumors that his entry method – for however brief a period – might see him refused. “This guy does not enter the United States by port or airport or customs post, he just flies in, tosses around God…

CANBERRA AS THE AUSTRALIAN Government indicates that it will seek to tighten gun laws after the massacre at Bondi, observers are asking why the country’s gun laws have suddenly become an issue only after the shooting? “This is your typical knee-jerk, vacuous response from an empty regime which just wants to distract from its own…

DUBLIN RECENT SUGGESTIONS THAT Russia might one day seize Shannon Airport have been met with the revelation that the Irish Defence Forces have a supremely cunning plan to deal with such an eventuality: they will strip the airport’s Duty Free shopping of everything but vodka and rely on that to at least slow any Russian…