GREENLAND A FURIOUS SEARCH is now on to find all the Chinese and Russian invaders threatening Greenland, even while US President Donald Trump once again turns his tariff arsenal on his European allies, in the face of a single British officer’s arrival to defend the island. “They’re out there, they have to be,” said a…

FEJHED, DENMARK DENMARK’S CRAVEN DESCRIPTION of Donald Trump’s desire to take over Greenland as a ‘fundamental disagreement’, has caused even some MAGA loyalists to ask why they haven’t put up anything like a fight to the US demand? “We want to take their house and they describe it as a fundamental disagreement,” says A.P.C. Sherman,…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY AS DENMARK ANNOUNCES troop plans for Greenland, American satellite photographs are said to have picked up what is described as a “huge Viking Fleet” headed towards the frozen island. “Long ships, full of big hairy fellows, with huge axes,” said an intercepted American message. “We’re not sure if it’s real or a ghost…

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PENTAGON WRITERS THE UNITED STATES once had fifteen bases on Greenland. Today it has but one, the Pituffik Space Base. Yes, space. Apt, as it is surrounded by a frozen landscape and not much else. No Russian or Chinese troops. Nothing. Except Musk Oxen ans such other creatures as can stand the cold. “If President…

TEHRAN A LEADING MILITARY expert says that Iran’s beleaguered leaders may try to get Donald Trump and Benjamin Natanyahu to attack the country in an effort to defused the growing protests across the Islamic Republic. “It’s an old trick if you want to defuse internal opposition, just get someone from outside attack you,” says Colonel…

SAINT-PIERRE ET MIQUELON A LEADING LAWYER says that prior to Brexit, those lands still maintaining the British monarchy as their head of state, may well have been ghost members of the European Union, whose status could have been elevated to full membership at any time which entitles them to be considered for this should they…

WHITE HOUSE REPORTERS “GOD, HOW LOW can you get? And Danish pastries are not even Danish, they’re Australian … or is it Austrian? Something like that.” These are the words of a White House intern when he heard the news that Denmark might stop sales its bacon and salami to the United States, and Danish…

SRI LANKA AN EMINENT HISTORIAN whose history of British India runs to fifty five volumes, says that societies which hand their security over to foreigners eventually end up being conquered by those foreigners. “Indian princes allowed the British East India Company’s forces into their lands and politics, where the BEIC played one off against another…

COPENHAGAN ALTHOUGH GREENLAND IS, by virtue of its being a Danish overseas territory, closely associated with the European Union (it actually left in the 1980s), plans are afoot in Brussels for the Union itself to offer to purchase Greenland from Denmark, to provide Donald Trump with something more than a failed socialist kelptocracy to defeat,…