BELGRADE, THURSDAY – A SMARTPHONE VIDEO OF senior European Union politicians and officials celebrating the final departure of the United Kingdom from the union is causing some slight embarrassment, according to sources. The various leaders can be seen in a conga line, chanting “They’re gone, they’re gone, they’re gone …” and singing “Happy Days Are…

SPLIFF, CALIFORNIA COMEDIAN AND CHAT SHOW HOST BILL MAHER has been confirmed as Satan’s son. The star was outed during one of his humorous monologues towards the end of his HBO show several weeks ago. “Well, the jokes were a little lame, I felt,” said Liverworth Bicep (not his real name) of Austin, Texas, who…

BY U. AVRIL IDIOTE CLASSIC sit-com “Friends” is to be designated a serious adult drama following complaints that it is utterly offensive to modern tastes, beliefs and sensitivities. The hit comedy which focuses on the lives of six friends living in Manhattan, New York, ran for 10 years between 1994 and 2004. It has become…

by J.T. Kirk, Space Editor EXTRA TERRESTRIALS who have been living at America’s Top Secret Area 51 facility in Nevada have gone on strike in protest at rent increases for their living quarters at the base. The ETs, who have been resident at Area 51 since the 1940s, say the price of housing has far…

LONDON, ENGLAND – A MAN dubbed Britain’s stupidest human being, following his victory in a tabloid newspaper competition, has caused some considerable embarrassment to the British Government, by asking a spokesman for the British Prime Minister why is it, if Northern Ireland, as Sunak says, is in a dream position with access to European Union…

ASPEN, COLORADO – GWYNETH PALTROW’S AURA may be the real culprit in the incident which has landed the Hollywood star in court, says Mystic Mogadon, a spiritualist and healer based in Bel Air, Los Angeles. “Yeah man, if an aura starts to break free, that’s a disruptor right there. All that energy. It’s quite clear…

FROM OUR RELIGIOUS AFFAIRS STAFF “IT WAS OUR LGBTI VOLUNTEER’S INTENTION to paint the statue of Lord Edward Carson at the Quisling Stormont Parliament in rainbow colours as a protest against his role in the ruin of Gay Irish writer Oscar Wilde,” reads a short Irish Republican Army (IRA) statement obtained by the Kookarburra Bugle.…

BY OUR SCIENTIFIC STAFF A NEW SOUTH WALES MAN who can drink beer through his anus and urinate from his mouth has managed to register zero on a roadside breath test despite drinking fifty cans of double strength lager. The man, who wishes only to be known as Norm, told the Kookaburra Bugle: “Yeah, I’ve…

FROM SUNDRY WIRE SERVICES VERY EARLY EXIT POLLING shows smaller parties like the SAVE OUR TURKEYS and LEG SHAVERS are ahead in the 2023 New South Wales state election. “Nothing to be concerned about,” remarked Nationals candidate Wal Surplus, “the fringe always turns up first at the polling stations. I suppose they’re full of passion,…

FROM OUR BUSINESS EDITOR LUKE CHANCE FINANCIAL MARKETS around the globe are buzzing with rumours that Russia’s infamous Private Military Company, the Wagner Group, is seeking a listing on the Shanghai Stock Exchange. “The initial public offering suggests a value of a trillion dollars for the business,” a defence finance analyst who wished to remain…