BEIJING THE ALMOST COMPLETE silence from Beijing in the face of the military assault being inflicted on China’s one-time friend, Iran, by Israel and its American allies, speaks to two realities: 1. China’s friendship is calculated; and 2. China is watching and counting. “Apart from selling to the world, and importing from the world, the…

KURDISTAN REPORTERS IN VARIOUS COUNTRIES “IF THIS WERE a marriage it would be described as an abusive relationship. Twice before the Kurds have put their faith in the promises of the Americans and twice before they have been brutally betrayed. And now they appear to be going back for more!” John Gabmowth, a former CIA…

WHITE HOUSE WRITERS AN EXTRAORDINARY RISE in foot spur complaints has mirrored a White House indication that it has not ruled out the possibility that American troops may wind up on the ground in Iran. “The Administration is being cagey about the possibility, but the latest figures for foot spurs don’t lie,” says Dr A.…

FROM OUR SUBMARINE WARFARE EDITOR, JULES NEMO THE SUBMARINE USED to sink an Iranian warship off Sri Lanka may well have been the famed Red October, captured by the United States from the Soviet Union in the early 1980s, according to a report from a noted treasure hunter. “The Americans have been using the old…

TEHRAN SUCH IS THE danger facing the ruling class in Iran, many of the country’s political, military and religious leaders are said to be taking shelter in hospital beds, according to an intelligence report. “Everywhere else is now out for these guys, so all that’s left is hospitals, where they feel the Americans and Israelis…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY AS IT IS revealed that Israel used Iranian traffic cameras to track down and assassinate the former Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei, the Islamic Republic is said to have tried a executed three of the visual instruments as traitors. “News from a secret location in Iran is that three of the cameras used to…

THE HAGUE AN AMERICAN THREAT to give Iran the Newsom-Mamdani treatment could well amount to a war crime, says a leading human rights lawyer who was once tortured by the old Shah’s secret police. “Iranians can deal with the bombs and the missiles, they can cope with the terrible economy, even the brutal regime, but…

FROM DOT MORSE IN IRAN THOSE RATHER RAMBLING hyperbolic Presidential speeches, which appear to have been written by a retarded primary school student, may actually be Donald Trump communicating in a complicated code with Iranians who have either come over to the Americans, or existing resistance groups which have been helping the White House in…

DUBAI STORIES OF PEPPERONI pizza remains being found at drone attack sites up and down the Arabian Penninsula, indicate that Iran has been disguising many of its drone attacks as pizza deliveries. “It’s fiendish,” says Doughy Base, a military analyst based in Kuwait. “The Iranians appear to have hacked into pizza order websites everywhere in…

ANONYMOUS THE SEARCH FOR a new Supreme Leader of Iran has met with a curious lack of candidates, according to Middle East Intelligence Sources. “The Assembly of Experts, which elects the SLI, is finding it hard to even get together given the current state of the country,” explains Omar, an Iranian exile based in Berlin.…