BELGRADE, THURSDAY A TOP PHYSICIST, who claims he was denied a Nobel prize because he doesn’t think Sweden should exist, has claimed that we are all living in a time-delay continuum created by Quantum Erasure, because the Earth was destroyed in a nuclear conflagration back in 1983. Dr Ernst Proton, whose groundbreaking work on delayed…

WINDSOR-MOUNTBATTEN THE BRITISH ROYAL formally known as Prince Andrew, Duke of York, is to be permitted to keep his Falklands War medal, having been stripped of virtually everything else, because he may need to sell the gone some day just to keep his head above water, according to friends. “Andrew’s future is precarious,” said an…

NEW YORK, NEW YORK THE ELECTION OF Zohran Mamdani is a deliberate effort by the people of New York City to provide more housing for people, says a fan of the new mayor. “Yes, the rich are running and will continue to run, and when that happens it will free up all those lovely houses…

WASHINGTON, DC WITH THE AI sector firing on all eight cylinders – and firing workers too – stock market outliers and contrarians are now looking for instruments to short the US Government, as the current long shutdown appears to have demonstrated that the Federal Civil Service is a giant bubble. “The shorts are already circling…

MOUNTBATTEN-WINDSOR THEY SAY THE English upper classes have two clearly visible traits which have kept them on top for centuries – they are reckless and, more importantly, they are ruthless. Nothing demonstrates this more visibly than the public cancellation of the King’s brother, the Royal formally known as Prince Andrew, Duke of York. “This is…

BELFAST THE QUESTION OF a United Ireland should be decided by asking people in Northern Ireland if they want to rejoin the European Union, according to a think tank. “The matter of a United Ireland has grown beyond mere Irish unity, it is now a matter of membership of the European Union, which should be…

KYIV THE RE-EMERGENCE OF tales of Russian brutality, both on the battlefield and against their own troops, is an indication that things have taken a turn for the worse for Ukraine’s army in its almost four-year-long war with its invading neighbor. “The West has given all the wonder weapons it has to Ukraine, with no…

DETROIT, MICHIGAN A NEW PAPER examining the American Administration’s plans to make America great again, has cautioned that, as the country’s first rise to greatness required the takeover of a continental-wide land mass, stuffed with natural resources, the genocidal dispossession of its original owners, the use of slave labor for much of its early existence,…

DUBLIN “SO MANY VOTES appear to have been spoiled, that media attending from across the globe have been asking who Spoiled was, and why they had never heard of them?” So says political researcher Alec Smart, who insists that the strength of the spoiled votes means that the new President, Catherine Connolly, will have her…

PARIS NEWS FROM THE French capital says that the Surete Nationale has a police officer named Jacques Clouseau on the recent Louvre robbery case. “We expect results shortly,” said his spokeswoman. “Clouseau always brings them in. He is a panther among police officers. Vive La France.”