WAGGA WAGGA FOLLOWING THE HOMICIDAL reaction to American Internet Influencer Sam Jones’ removal of a baby wombat from its distressed mother, the Australian Government is considering re-introducing the death penalty for anyone who trespasses in a similar manner in the future. “Given the vicious reaction to Sam’s actions, the feeling here is that this could…

DUBLIN THE SMALL SCOTTISH village of Brigadoon protected itself from the outside world by only appearing once every century. The Irish Government has been told to use a similar strategy in riding out the Donald Trump storm. “Hunker down and hide for four years, hope Trump will have wrecked Vance’s chances for the White House,…

WASHINGTON, DC NEWS THAT AMERICAN President Donald Trump had not heard about a Sinn Fein boycott of his meeting with Irish leaders to mark St Patrick’s Day, has been qualified by White House staff who insist that the US chief executive had not even heard of Sinn Fein and thought it was a peculiar kind…

WASHINGTON, DC “THE UNITED STATES of America is built on conquest and acquisition. Every piece of territory it possesses was taken or bought from someone else. When it requires something, it either buys it or conquers it. When eleven of its own states wanted to leave and go their own way, it reconquered them. It…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY IN THE FACE of a threat of invasion by the United States, Greenland, whose population is is only just over 56,000, has begun to train its population of polar bears to help defend the country. “There are several thousand polar bears on the giant island, and they are being schooled in tearing Americans…

DUBLIN PUNITIVE TARIFFS ON Irish products coming into the United States are virtually guaranteed to solve the Emerald Isle’s housing crisis in an instant, says an influential supporter of US President Donald Trump. “The tariffs wreck your economy, unemployment skyrockets, immigrants go home and locals emigrate, housing becomes cheaper and much more available. It’s a…

FROM OUR OVAL OFFICE EDITOR, SHAN WHALING THERE WAS AN awkward moment during Donald Trump’s meeting with Irish leader Micheal Martin, when the US President did his usual of complaining that US businesses were being lured to Ireland by tax incentives, when you just felt that Mr Martin either might have – or, indeed, should…

MANILA “YOU HAVE TO wonder whether anyone at the International Criminal Court in The Hague had their tongues wedged firmly in their cheeks as they accepted the assistance of the son of former Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos in the extradition of a political adversary – former elected Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte – to their palace…

KYIV UKRAINE’S ACCEPTANCE OF a ceasefire in its war with Russia, despite no immediate reciprocal action from Moscow, may well leave the plucky underdog vulnerable to a sudden onslaught to which it cannot reply. “Trump has forced Ukraine to sue for peace, while its enemy is still advancing,” said a Zelenskyy insider. “And I see…

BERLIN, GERMANY “THE INGREDIENTS ARE clear. You have to be ignorant of, or indifferent to, history, super-confident in your own ability, personally insulated from any consequences of your actions, and utterly oblivious to the reality of the numbers as they present in the cold light to day. Then you can declare war on the world…