BELGRADE, THURSDAY “IF YOU WANTED proof that the European Union is incapable of defending itself, Commission President Ursula Von Der Leyen’s performance before Donald Trump is more than enough.” The words of historian, Professor Winston De Gaulle, whose seminal work Brexit Is Foolish But The European Union Is Almost A Corpse, won the Frederick The…

ECONOMICS DESK EU CHIEF URSULA VON Der Leyen’s claim that her total capitulation to Donald Trump on tariffs brought certainty, is being described as the certainty of the firing squad by a top economist. “I suppose the one good thing is that there will only be 15% tariffs on European exports (50% on steel and…

GAZA “EVERY PALESTINIAN CHILD you kill, hands Hamas five or ten fresh volunteers.” These words are from a secret report on Israel’s operations in Gaza obtained by the Kookaburra Bugle. Compiled by international Jewish think tank We Remember Zion But We Don’t Want to Live There, the report suggests that Israel’s nearly two years of…

OUR PROPAGANDA DESK THE KOOKABURRA BUGLE has decided to publish a brief translation of western media reports on the war in Ukraine (when they can be bothered to report it at all): Ukrainian troops capture small field and empty house: Huge Ukrainian Push Advances Deep Into Russian Territory; Russia captures Ukrainian town: Putin Suffers Massive…

CANBERRA PLANS BY THE Australian Government to reduce the country’s working week, from 5 days to 4, has been met with fury by those employed by the Federal, territorial and state governments across the continent. “This has come as a huge shock to public sector employees around Australia,” explained a trade union official who did…

BOYNE RIVER, IRELAND FURIOUS ULSTER LOYALISTS are claiming that an Irish Government ban on nudity at the site of the Battle of the Boyne is a blatant attempt to discriminate against them and prevent their traditional practices. The Loyal Corporeal Institution, which re-enacts the nude crossing of the river by William III’s Naked Fury Fusiliers…

WASHINGTON, DC A SECRET SURVEY suggests that bookings for Cold Play concerts have suffered a fall since a couple having and affair were caught hugging on Kiss-Cam at one of the group’s events. “Hard to tell if this is temporary or a longer term thing,” says Dee Vorce, a marketing expert who specializes in appealing…

WIRE SERVICES WASTE MANAGEMENT CONSULTANTS across the fifty states in America have reported an enormous surge in husbands tossing Cold Play albums into garbage bins at the last possible moment before the trash is collected. “Hundreds of thousands of CDs and old vinal albums are being dumped by husbands,” says consultant Anthony Caporegime. “These guys…

WESTMINSTER, LONDON DESPERATE TO FIND a source of wealth to meet spending demands it cannot finance, the UK Labour Government is said to be considering turning on the Church of England, closing it down, confiscating its property and selling it all off, to keep the ship of state sailing. “Look, hardly anyone in Britain believes…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY A SUPER-SECRET plan to make speaking English to the UK’s immigrant population illegal, is being considered by the Labour Government, according to a political blogger. Rancid Dave Scargill, whose blog has fifteen million followers, says he has been informed that a special *Ipol Committee, set up to make Britain more welcoming for the…