Category: Uncategorized
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NEW TOUR COMPANY WILL ALLOW HAMAS FANS TO SPEND TIME LIVING WITH THE GROUP
GAZA FANS OF PALESTINIAN GROUP Hamas will soon be able to spend time embedded with the group’s military wing, taking on the Israeli Defence Force, following the emergence of a new tour operator offering weekends away in Gaza for a modest fee. Walk The Walk, an online start-up with plans to go public on the…
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“BONKERS” BORIS PLANS FOR DUTCH INVASION TO GRAB COVID VACCINES HAS WORLD IN SUCH STITCHES THAT PLANET’S INDUSTRY ACTUALLY TANKED
LONDON BORIS JOHNSON’S REVELATION that he contemplated invading the Netherlands to seize millions of Covid vaccines, has caused such a wave of hysterical laughter to spread across the world that it actually led to a dip in industrial productivity right around our planet. The former British leader’s new biography, which is being serialized and hyped…
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SOLVE BRITISH PRISON CRISIS BY OFFERING FULL AMNESTY TO THUGS WHO VOLUNTEER TO FIGHT PUTIN IN UKRAINE – PLAN
LONDON DESK THE UK GOVERNMENT is said to be seriously considering a proposal to offer full amnesty to all extremely violent criminals who volunteer to fight on the front line in Ukraine, according to a leaked plan now circulating in London’s underworld. The scheme is designed to compliment the early release program aimed at clearing…
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AMERICAN CAT OWNERS TERRIFIED OF THEIR PETS BEING EATEN BY MIGRANTS ARE URGED TO SEND THEM TO KABUL WHERE THEIR PETS WILL HAVE MORE RIGHTS THAN WOMEN UNDER TALIBAN RULE
SPRINGFIELD, ILLINOIS AFGHANISTAN’S TALIBAN RULERS, long reviled in the West, may soon provide American cats with a refuge from the threat of being eaten which they face at home. According to movie star Meryl Streep, cats have more rights in the Asian state than women. Though it is not clear if all cats have these…
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ALL QUIETER ON THE EASTERN FRONT AS NEW PLAN FOR UKRAINIAN VICTORY SUGGESTED
KYIV UKRAINE’S INVASION OF Russia has seen a marked falloff in jingoistic videos and loud claims of success in recent days as the advance appears to have slowed for a tea break, and indeed may have gone into reverse so that cigarettes dropped in the heat of battle can be picked up. It’s not clear.…
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NEW ANTI-IRISH UNITY TACK IS THAT SOUTHERN IRISH KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEIR NORTHERN NEIGHBORS
BELFAST AS CREEPING NATIONALISM begins to invade their turf, and the idea of a united Ireland becomes plausible, Ulster Unionists and their supporters in the state to their south, have begun to argue that the millions of Irish south of the now non-existent border that doesn’t separate the two polities on the island or Ireland,…
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EARLY RELEASE BRITISH PRISONERS WILL BE WELCOME TO APPLY FOR AN GARDA SIOCHANA AND COULD BE DRESSED IN BLACK JACKETS AND KHAKI TROUSERS IF STANDARD BLUE UNIFORMS NOT AVAILABLE
OUR POLICING CORRESPONDENT NOW THAT THE Irish police force, An Garda Siochana, has begun accepting foreign nationals into its ranks, sources close to the Irish Government have indicated that jailbirds given early release in Britain will be considered should they choose to apply for admission to the cops on the Emerald Isle. “We have a…
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NEW POLL SHOWS MILLIONS OF AMERICANS DON’T GIVE A MONKEY’S SHIT WHO WINS THE PRESIDENCY: BECAUSE THEIR LIVES WON’T CHANGE
WASHINGTON, DC “I’VE LIVED THROUGH KENNEDY, JOHNSON, NIXON, FORD, CARTER, REAGAN, BUSH 1, CLINTON, BUSH 2. OBAMA, TRUMP 1? AND BIDEN; AND YOU KNOW WHAT? NOTHING MUCH HAS CHANGED FOR THE BETTER. SURE, THE RICH HAVE GOTTEN RICHER, MUCH RICHER; AND THE POOR, THEY REMAIN POOR, THOUGH WITH QUITE A BIT OF SUPPORT; BUT THE…
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HEZBOLLAH VOWS TO STRIKE BACK AT ISRAEL’S DOORBELLS
JERUSALEM IN RESPONSE TO the pager and walkie talkie offensive launched against it in recent days, the Islamic hard men of Hezbollah have promised to bring the vengeance of Allah to Israel by attacking the Jewish state through its doorbells. “Every Jew who presses a door bell when visiting his neighbor is now on notice,”…
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FALAFEL IS BOOBY TRAPPED, SAYS LEBANESE SPY, AS HEZBOLLAH LUNCHES EXPLODE
TYRE, SOUTHERN LEBANON A LEBANESE MAN working for Israeli intelligence has broken cover to warn Hezbollah that booby trapped Falafel is the cause of at leas two explosions at lunch tables in the south of Lebanon. “I was involved,” he admitted. “I did not want to do it but Mossad have me by the balls.…
THE KOOKABURRA BUGLE 