DUBLIN THE CLOSURE OF the Dublin to New York Portal has taken a new turn with the news that a Dublin man, who lost his testicles while performing a lewd act at the connection, has been told that his genitals were found next to the Big Apple’s Flatiron Building. Patrick Patrick, a street performance artist…

RAFAH, GAZA AN INTERNATIONAL university-based human rights group says that the overwhelming Israeli attack on Gaza in recent months has caused so much damage that there are now not enough roofs left from which Islamic fundamentalists could throw homosexuals to their deaths should the need arise. Holocaust-Schmolocaust, a left-wing think tank that monitors what it…

MOSCOW THE RETURN OF many of those who fled Russia when Vladimir Putin invaded Ukraine is being seen by his supporters as an endorsement of Moscow’s strongman as his army continues to inch forward in the Donbass and his economy shows remarkable resilience. “These chickens flew the coop when they thought all was lost for…

BIRMINGHAM A RIDICULOUSLY LOW turnout of 28.6% in the Greater Manchester, and 29.8% in the West Midlands, mayoral elections, in England, has commentators asking how low does voter turnout need to be before an election is declared unsafe. “Over 70% of voters didn’t bother to engage, these are not mandates, they’re boycotts,” argues political scientist…

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA STRUGGLING AUSTRALIAN BUDGET airline Bonza could be saved from oblivion if a deal to carry the French Army to Ukraine goes ahead. French President Macron has indicated that any major breakthrough by Russia in Ukraine would see France send troops to the war-torn country. At the same time Bonza is in administration desperately…

BERLIN THE RUMOUR WAS that the Fuhrer of the Thousand Year Reich only had one testicle. There was even a song about it. And when Adolf Hitler finally fired his only shot of the Second World War into his own head, most believed that was the end of him and however many testicles he possessed.…

DUBLIN A FORMER LOYALIST gunman, who now votes Alliance, has advised Sinn Fein, if it ever gets into government in Dublin, to hand out temporary Irish passports to incoming UK migrants, and then send them back across the border. “They could waltz back into Britain without drawing a breath because of the common travel area,”…

RWANDA THE RECENT SIGHT of British Household Cavalry horses running amok in the streets of London, has led to whispers from the local intelligence community that the allegedly spooked animals were heard to shout what sounded like “Allah U Akbar” (God Is Great) as they set off on their rampage. Two of the animals needed…

FROM OUR SCARY DESTINATIONS EDITOR, VIKTOR DRAKUL THE IRISH GOVERNMENT is planning to scare off migrants from the UK by implementing emergency legislation which will see all future asylum seekers immediately settled in the city of Limerick. “As a twenty-four carat shit-hole, it’s hard to beat Limerick,” said an Irish Civil Servant. “Even Islamic fundamentalist…

CANBERRA STAFF ALRIGHT, HE WAS wearing a baseball cap, but the sight of the Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia having to explain who he was to a crowd of women protesting against domestic violence has government party bigwigs in Canberra holding up their hands in horror. For the record, his name is Anthony…