FROM BRUSSELS BY ALEXANDER TURK A FRESH SURVEY of European Union citizens has found that a huge portion of the population of the bloc would actually agree to pay money to Britain to keep that country from rejoining them. “The peace and quiet without the Brits is hard to relinquish,” says Malcolm Felipe Mulhuddert, a…

APOLOGY EDITOR AND WIRE SERVICES THE SMORGASBORD OF photo opportunities and political errors that have become the stock in trade of the Albanese government in Australia, are to be smothered in a sauce of apologies until the next election, according to Labor insiders in Canberra. “It’s a winning strategy,” says publicist Lowder Noyze. “The list…

PARNELL SQUARE EAST, DUBLIN THE IRISH GOVERNMENT is considering a proposal that political leaders across the country each take an asylum seeker into their home, to help ease the pressure on housing and demonstrate that those on top are willing to shoulder the burdens weighing on those below them. “It’s not going to solve the…

BY OUR COOKERY REPORTER JAMIE MUNCHER THE POISONING OF the wife of top Ukraine spy chief, Kyrylo Budanov, has caused panic in the kitchens of Kyiv and other major Ukrainian cities, as the Zelenskyy government finds itself on an enforced diet. “Somewhere out there is a Russian agent we call The chef,” said a Ukrainian…

NEW DELHI INDIAN OFFICIALS INVOLVED in negotiating a Free Trade Agreement with Brexit Britain have insisted -as a deal draws ever so slowly closer – that the old colonial masters have nothing to be apprehensive about as the Indians intend always to apply the same courtesies to Britain as Britain applied to India over three…

FROM POLITICAL WRITERS RECENT RIOTING IN the Irish Capital Dublin has led to the establishment of a secret committee whose brief is to prepare a strategy to actively discourage immigrants from coming to the country, even if it means re-introducing policies from the 1980s that led to mass emigration and Ireland being referred to as…

FROM OUR SPORTS DESK STORIES ARE EMERGING from Gaza of a football game which took place between Israeli soldiers and Hamas fighters on a beach on the northern shore of the Palestinian strip. Sources say that both sides began their own soccer games during the night which developed slowly into a single game. “Suddenly, senior…

BY OUR TECHNOLOGY STAFF “THE NEXT THING to watch for is pursuit drones, seeking out enemy drones and shooting them down. Hell, Drone Aces might even emerge.” Greg Biggles was a jet ace in Vietnam and now runs a technology company in Austin, Texas. He’s in his seventies but looks no older than fifty. He…

BY OUR FILM REVIEWER ORSON KUROSAWA SOMEWHERE DURING THE Battle of Waterloo scenes in this movie, Rupert Everett, playing the Duke of Wellington (Yes) says: “Jesus Christ”. I felt he spoke for all us when he said those words. Perhaps the screenwriter was trying to express his own feelings. Everett’s performance is one of the…

FROM OUR LOOTING EDITOR IN DUBLIN “THE IRISH ARE by nature subversive, factional and divisive, they can’t help it!” So says historian Professor Biblius Scotti-Magnus, whose seminal work Take It Down, Traitor: How Ireland Destroys Power, was on the New York Times bestseller list for five years back in the 1980s. “Who are these far-right…