BY FRANCIS LUNDOP, PLANNING CORRESPONDENT IN LIGHT OF the discovery of Irish markings on Iranian drones used by Russia against Ukraine, the Russian Government, sensing a secret ally, is said to have lodged a planning application to build a “small” ballistic missile base at its Dublin Embassy site on Orwell Road. “Nothing anyone will notice,”…

BY OUR MOVIE CRITIC, D. W. FORD-ORSON III IT’S AN ILL wind and all that, but all the metrics agree, films have suddenly improved dramatically since Hollywood’s actors and writers decided to withdraw their labor. Who knows how long it will last, or what the long-term effects will be? But just for a while, we…

FROM MELBOURNE, VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA “IT’S PERFECT. The detention centre can serve as the athlete’s village and all we need is a track and a pool. Two billion dollars max.” The Canberra consultant who spoke these words was already talking by phone to five Federal Labor Ministers on a conference call. “The biggest cost would be…

FROM THE 58,000 THEY RAN THE FIRST TIME, and it seems they’re running again. A string of famous people, some of whom have made fortunes playing tough guys, or warmongering in political office, are seeking deferment once again, this time from a proposed Vietnam Draft Dodgers’ reunion to be held in Canada. “They know who…

USELESS DOPEHEAD CORRESPONDENT IN BOGOTA, COLUMBIA “IT DEFINITELY saved the cartels a few years back. The price of cocaine on the streets of American cities had flat-lined, like many of its consumers’ heart beats. Then there’s a massive spike in demand and prices shoot up. Our study suggests it was all down to Hunter Biden.”…

FROM OUR DEFENCE SCUTTLE BUTT CORRESPONDENT in Vilnius “IT’S WHAT YOU might call CATCH ’23: NATO won’t let Ukraine join until Ukraine somehow wins its war with Russia; but Ukraine cannot win that war without being a NATO member and having the full support of the alliance and its military behind it. Basically, Ukraine is…

FROM WASHINGTON DC SHE’S A HEARTBEAT, or perhaps a dead brain cell, away from the Presidency of the United States, but fewer than twenty percent of Americans can name their Vice President. Indeed, less than forty percent know the Vice President is a woman. While fifteen percent think she’s the main actor from Madam Secretary.…

RETAIL MILITARY HARDWARE REPORTER THE HARD-PRESSED British Government is said to be turning to Amazon and eBay for military supplies, as it struggles to cope with the demands made upon it by Ukraine’s struggling offensive. London’s Defence Minister, Ben Wallace, known for his strategic genius, gave the game away when, presented with a fresh list…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY – HOW MUCH will thirty pieces of silver invested at an average compounded rate of five per cent over two thousand years be worth today? Quite a lot actually. “We’re talking a figure way beyond trillions,” says archaeologist Dr Tony Cave. “The net asset value of an advanced industrialized democracy, probably. Probably more…

FROM ALFIE NOBEL IN A SMALL SHELL HOLE IN EASTERN UKRAINE THE UNITED STATES’ decision to send cluster munitions to Ukraine has caused some people, whose hearts are not as robust as they should be, to suggest that the provision of such indiscriminate ordinance to the war in the Donbass and its surroundings might lead…