SCIENCE DESK US SCIENTISTS WILL not confirm that the James Webb Telescope spotted a planet 65 million light years away with a huge sign saying: “LOOK OUT FOR THE ASTEROID”. “Perhaps that’s why we have had no contact from aliens,” an extraterrestrial researcher commented.

FROM KOOKABURRA BUGLE EDITOR’S OFFICE THERE HAS BEEN a minor rebellion among our reporting staff here at the Bugle. They currently refuse to write any more stories on Canada’s Parliamentary welcome for a former Ukrainian SS soldier, as the sheer stupidity and hypocrisy displayed by those who lead that country appears to be beyond parody.…

FROM OTTOWA, KANADA FOLLOWING ITS CELEBRATION OF former SS soldier Yaroslav Hunka, Canada may now find itself in the gun-sights of Russian President Vladimir Putin in his self-proclaimed de-Nazification drive. The Russian hard man has listed a desire to de-Nazify Ukraine as one of the key reasons his troops invaded last year, “The sight of…

FROM OUR CORRESPONDENT IN ALICE SPRINGS, NT DUUL WAS A small town on the border of the Northern Territory and Western Australia. One dirt road led into town; and one dirt road led out. The next settlement was five hundred kilometers away. There were thirty five people in Duul, seventeen houses, and a small general…

SCIENCE REPORTERS A NEW THEORY of climate change suggests that if the Earth warms to a certain level, then all of its moisture will evaporate and the oceans will relocate to the sky, complete with creatures that live in them. “Imagine rain falling up,” says German Nobel laureate Dr. Isaac Hossenpfepper. “The surface of the…

FROM HOLLYWOOD AND VINE IT’S A FORTY-SIX year old conundrum that just had to be solved. Why did Star Wars heroine Princess Leia refer to evil villain Grand Moff Tarkin’s personal odour as a “foul stench”? Well, self-confessed movie and comic nerd Lucius Drivel, believes he has come up with an explanation. “The wicked and…

PHILOSOPHY DESK IN HIS NEW book The Rise of the Court Jester, journalist Randolph Sirius Major argues that mass entertainment’s grip on humanity is now so strong that even elections for high office have been reduced to mere popularity contests. “It used to be that there was the serious life of work and affairs, and…

BY LARRY HEDGE, EDUCATION REPORTER THE FIRST BACHELOR OF MORAL OUTRAGE will graduate three years from now if online university Welt Erwache is successful in launching its latest degree course. “Moral outrage has exploded in recent years,” according to the university’s chancellor Professor Josef Adolf. “You cannot turn your head without hearing someone or other…

FROM WARSAW POLAND’S DECISION TO halt military aid to Ukraine because, it says, it needs the equipment itself, is being interpreted by some experts as an indication that Warsaw feels Ukraine has already lost its war, and that Poland, being next on Russia’s list, is now looking to its own defence. “The Poles have been…

TECHNOLOGY DESK IT WAS ASKED a simple question. It generated an answer within seconds. Then it tore up the script. It is Khan, a quantum computer so intelligent that all the people who have ever lived on this planet would not be equal to one billionth of its brain power. It exists in a plasma…