FROM OUR PARALLEL UNIVERSE STAFF COULD EVERYTHING WE have witnessed in Donald Trump’s recent behavior be the result of quantum computer activity? One scientist believes it may well be. “A quantum computer’s ability to tap into parallel universes means that we can no longer fully rely on what we see in our own reality,” says…

WASHINGTON DC “LET US BE very clear: without France, there would be no United States of America. France financed your revolution, France supported it, France enabled the crucial American victory at Yorktown. And then France sold about a third of the modern United States to Thomas Jefferson for $15 million. Mar-a-Lago is worth multiples of…

KYIV IS THE NATION state to be superseded by the joint venture? Donald Trump’s plan to sign a deal for rare earth metals with Ukraine, could be the beginning of a new direction in human organisation, as business project rather than community. “The nation has its limits; business is an open border,” says journalist Stone…

FROM OUR COLD WAR EDITOR NED STAPLETON A RUSSIAN HISTORIAN is alleging that one reason the Troubles in Northern Ireland lasted as long as they did, was that British Foreign Intelligence Service MI6 was using Irish Revolutionary Marxists to penetrate the Warsaw Pact during the Cold War. “Most people know of the Provisional Irish Republican…

LONDON A TOP SURGEON based in London’s Harley Street, says that an enormous increase in knee replacements can be linked to the Woke phenomenon of recent years. “At first I thought it was some return to religion, or people engaging in fellatio more often, but then I did some research among my patients and I…

WASHINGTON, DC HUNDREDS OF MEN and women, who work in the US Congress could be dispensed with to save the country millions in wasted spending, the Department of Government Efficiency says. “They call themselves Democrats,” a spokeswoman explained, “and the thing is, we don’t know what it is they actually do; what useful purpose they…

PLYMOUTH ROCK ELON MUSK’S DEPARTMENT of Government Efficiency has discovered that the crew of the migrant ship, the Mayflower, are still being paid social security. The Mayflower brought the Pilgrim Fathers to America in 1620. Its crew supposedly died in the 17th Century. “Look, they were illegal migrants,” a bureaucrat said. “They automatically get payments.”

LOUISIANA CHRISTOPHER SEPULVADO, the oldest man on death row in Louisana, has cheated death row by dying weeks before the state of Louisiana was scheduled to kill him. Sepulvado, 81, who had been on death row for three decades, murdered his 6-year-old stepson, Wesley Mercer, in a most brutal fashion in 1992. “The scumbag got…

BERLIN WHILE THE ELECTORAL success of Alternative Fur Deutschland has caused howls of “Nazi” and “Fascist” from its opponents, some of its supporters are shouting back, that the Nazis failed, and they will not. “Hitler called it all wrong,” says Otto Ostie, from Upper Saxony: “He brought millions of foreigners into Germany as slave labour;…

HOLLYWOOD ALL HE NEEDS is a cat and a weird underground headquarters. Donald Trump has provided the rest. Volodymyr Zelenskyy is set up to be a James Bond villain. “One James Bond movie should clear his country’s debts to America, and give him a career after politics,” says Hollywood reporter Tab Arbuckle, who reckons that…