FROM G. ST GERMAINE, EQUALITY REPORTER IT APPEARS WOMEN just cannot win. Having achieved liberation, equality and increasing pay parity, it turns out it’s still a man’s world when it comes to mating. “Women have always tended to mate and marry up,” says relationship psychologist Dr Darina Enright-Bog, of the world-renowned Clitoris Institute in Vienna.…

BY OUR WOKE EDITOR, HUGH CENSOR IN AN EXTRAORDINARY turn of events, the leak of an Ultra Secret US Government file has revealed that the Central Intelligence Agency now believes that modern Woke culture is actually a virus manufactured in a Chinese laboratory. Colonel Doug Cluster, a former US military intelligence officer now working for…

FROM IAN LUNDY IN BELFAST THE ROW emerging among Ulster Defence Association members in Co. Antrim over a wall mural in Rathcoole, has led to the extraordinary disclosure that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was, for much of her later adult life, a senior UDA commander. “I remember when she signed on,” says Sammy Sam,…

FROM OUR LIZ TRUSS CORRESPONDENT RUSSIAN INTELLIGENCE officers are being accused of torturing Ukrainian prisoners by reading pages of a new biography of the short UK premiership of Liz Truss to them in an attempt to squeeze information on the ongoing Ukrainian counter-offensive. Described by human rights organizations as a brutal war crime, it is…

BY G. MCGRUDER LIDDY, WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT A FORMER MEMBER OF THE US Secret Service, the agency that guards US Presidents, says Lee Harvey Oswald was employed in the White House kitchen in 1973 – as a pizza chef. “It is known that Richard Nixon loved pepperoni salads,” says Olaf Spam, now 95 and living…

WIRE SERVICES IT SEEMED LIKE the perfect solution to the homelessness and the Ukrainian asylum problems in Ireland in one move: send all the fighting age men who have fled Ukraine to avoid the war, back to Ukraine at the behest of the Ukrainian Government, which needs them desperately. And then the Russians upset the…

FROM OUR CORRESPONDENT, CHANDRA BOSE, IN MUMBAI “THE FUTURE IS INDIAN, live with it,” says technology billionaire Ultan Gandhi-Nehru, whose company, Curry Nan IP, provides software services to much of Asia. “My company has more programmers on its books than the UK has citizens. We could run the UK from a back office in Mumbai…

FROM OUR JINGO EDITOR A RECENT REPORT, that former George W. Bush Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice believes that the War on Terror has been been broadly won, has been followed by confirmation that a tasteful monument to mark the triumph is now being considered. “We’re thinking of a statue – maybe in depressing lead…

FROM LONDON SAFE-HOUSE REPORTER, LY ING LOWE AMID THE TRIUMPHANT CHEERS at his recapture after a daring prison break, senior British security officials have revealed to the Kookaburra Bugle that the UK’s most wanted man was perhaps 24-hours away from having himself deported to Iran as an illegal immigrant. “He was on the next flight…

SICILY A NEW INTELLIGENT assassin drone may further change the nature of warfare, it is claimed. The Terminator, as it’s nicknamed, was originally developed by the Sicilian Mafia and its sister organisation, the Calabrian N’Drangheta, to target specific individuals. “It’s tiny,” says Oliver Juice, a technology consultant to organised crime, who is now in the…