WASHINGTON DC “THE REMAINING 10% don’t even know what day it is. But otherwise the tent cities of addicts and public defecators, they are all with Kamala. Go Democrats.” Herb Astericks, who spoke these words, is a pollster from Michigan who has conducted the first nationwide survey of America’s homeless addicts in their tent cities,…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY THEY TOUCHED DOWN gently in San Francisco; they left Berkeley at light speed. They were aliens from a planet hundreds of millions of light years away. They had signaled their arrival to the Pentagon. They left without saying goodbye. “We got a message later at Area 51,” said Colonel 531, a specialist in…

GAZA REPORTERS “IT WAS A BIT like the Doctor in Doctor Who, regenerating.” A captain in the Israeli Defence Forces is absolutely sure he saw another Yahwa Sinwar appear out of the dead Hamas leader’s body the same day he died. Others claim that they saw it, too. But most don’t want to talk about…

ENGLAND ENGLAND ENGLAND CAN YOU HEAR THAT? It’s the sound of the Boys of Sixty Sixty (except Geoff Hurst) turning over in their graves. The England soccer team has a German manager. And whispers are that, although there are no immediate plans to do so, some in the English Football Association are seriously considering going…

JERUSALEM A BRAND NEW three-state solution has been proposed for Israel/Palestine: one state for Jews, one state for Arabs and a third state for all those outsiders who advocate a two-state solution. “The Arabs and Jews can take out their mutual frustrations on these people,” says Ultan Kompromize-Exodus, an international lawyer who specializes in unique…

CALIFORNIA IN A SHOCK poll of Democratic voters in California, a majority has agreed with the proposition that men slapping women is acceptable if the purpose of the slapping is to put the woman in her place. “We actually put this sentence to the people we polled, just so they understood what we were asking:…

CANBERRA PEOPLE OFFENDED BY the Australian Prime Minister’s purchase of a $4.3 million beach side mansion in the middle of a mortgage crisis, have been reassured by Labor insiders that what Albo has now, every hard working Australian family will have when the Federal Government’s latest house building initiative is finished. “This is the future,…

DELPHI “MORE AMERICANS NOW use opioids than actually believe in God. So opium has officially replaced religion as the opiate of the masses. Karl Marx, eat your heart out.” The words of Dr Fredrick Groucho when opening the first World Irony Symposium in San Francisco, caused several attendees to glance around the tent where they…

SPRINGFIELD IT READS LIKE a thriller: US Federal Emergency Management Agency money given to Caribbean immigrants so they can cook the household pets they eat, has found its ways to Haiti and other similar places and so transformed some wretched Caribbean economies that the seas around these islands have warmed halfway to boiling point and…

WASHINGTON DC IT WAS TO have been the springboard for the coming election campaign of Irish Prime Minister Simon Harris – a private meeting with US President Joe Biden at the White House, to show Irish voters that he is important. It has turned into a confused panic among the supporters of US Presidential election…